Usually when blogging I try to find a topic that will go with what I'm going to or want to talk about, but I can't think of anything. Which leads right into my next sentance. I haven't been able to blog anything fun, witty or otherwise comical for quite sometime now. I find that the more I think about blogging, the more my mind draws a blank lately. I could talk about work, and how my schedule is driving me nuts because last week was one of the first weeks that I had a Sunday off and when I do have to work I haven't been able to stay for the whole service because they have me start at Noon! Ok, enough ranting! :) I'm better now.
I've really felt lately like I'm coming up short with my relationship with the Lord. I want to get back to that spot where I'm praying without ceasing, where I can't get enough of the Bible, where all I can do is worship Him. I really want to get back to that place. I can almost pin point when it all started. I had an argument with God and I didn't realize I was in the wrong. He was basically telling me to do something, which would have been for my own good, but I didn't want anything to do with it. I have since repented of course, but I still feel bad for it. I know He's forgiven me, but I'm such a thinker and sometimes I don't let things go when I should. I feel though, that since I've acknowledged what's going in my head that I CAN move forward, it's just getting the people around me to recognize that I have changed, for the better, and not to treat me as though I'm a back sliding heathen. I wish I could set them down and talk to them, but I hate confrentation, it's definitely not in my nature, and I'm a chicken to do it. I can't believe I'm writing all this out. I think Marcie inspired me when she was writing one day about a few things she was dealing with and said something about at least now someone should hold her accountable for the changes she'd like to make. So, if any of you would like a challenge :) Also, if you have a suggestion of how I can become more disciplined in my walk, please comment.
I love you all! Have a blessed day!
7 comments:
Hey Kenzie~! I'm totally up for the whole accountablity thing! I need it not only for myself, but having other people to help sharpen me would only help me further! God Bless you & your honesty!
thank you! You inspired me!
Kenz,
I know I am kinda out of the loop on this but thought I would give some feedback.I don't think that you need to confront anyone. Your actions, or lifestyle, will speak louder than your words will. Let them see the difference in your actions and they will know you are a changed person.
You also need to stop beating yourself up. God gives us grace because he knows we will fall short. I believe you to be a mighty woman of God and he has an awesome plan for your life. Don't let your mind get in the way of that.
~Justin
Awesome word Justin.
I second that. :)
Jess
I third it! Kenz you can come so far don't worry about others who make you feel like it's not enough. If they looked into their own lives instead of always into others they might not be too happy with where they are. :) We are all different and should be allowed such grace!
Hey also you tell me who they are and I will beat them up with my pregnant homornal self!
Thank you guys! I don't know what it is about these blogs, but it feels so great to vent on there :)
You're right, I do think way too much, I am totally excited for the plans God has for me, I just need to not think so much :)
Thanks again! Love ya'll!
PS Karon, I wouldn't want you to sin against anyone by hurting them, so I won't tell you who it is ;)
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